sorry it's mostly politics
#68Long time no post. That thing I was saying last entry about making time for things you want to do...well it was very short-lived! I have no time and I am full of stress.
Being in my final semester of school with the current state of society once again has me shackled with a familiar sense of dread that I first met about 5 years ago. All of my efforts feel like a waste because whatever concept I once had of the future is gone. I can't even see two weeks in front of me!
One of the databases our team was referencing for our final project was wiped of any mention of women, racial minorities, and veterans. We're not conducting any experiments, so this hurdle luckily isn't that tall. But I don't think all of my peers are as fortunate. And the incoming generation certainly won't be. And to who's benefit? Private entities who only want to rescue once-public databases so they can get richer by charging exhorbitant prices for data that citizens have already paid for with our tax dollars!?!
I would think that the average person can understand the value of expanding practical human knowledge. And actually as it turns out, most people, even anti-vaxxers, do overwhelmingly trust what they believe to be scientific research. Well, numbers are typically seen as more valid and free of bias, and regular people and scientists alike will do fun, misinformative things with them without necessarily lying. They don't always even mean to! As powerful as peer review is, even good work in well-respected journals sometimes has to be retracted because the researchers misinterpret their own data. But that's part of the reason why research is so important, even for social and behavioral sciences. You should go into your own assumptions with a healthy dose of skepticism regardless of the topic matter. But if your information is inhibited and censored without good reason, then any conclusions will have to be similarly limited if not completely useless.
It's like every day I oscilate between I have to do something!!! and there is nothing I can do!!! Eggs are $9, my hair is literally going grey, and all my socks are full of holes.
But other than my sock situation, things are actually pretty OK for me when I can pry myself away from my thoughts. Schoolwise, I don't know if the light at the end of the tunnel is an open sky or an oncoming train, but I do like to think it's the former. And now that it's Spring, I enjoy going on walks and seeing the fat bees pollinate the flowers that have started to bloom. I think I'm falling for the Dubai chocolate trend. I've not had it authentically or in the form of chocolate bar yet, in fact I've only had it as a flavor of thing, only once, but I fully understand the appeal. Matcha had its moment to spin off cheap, but passable, imitators. I'm hoping the same happens for Dubai chocolate because I can't see myself paying the imported pistachio tax often enough to really enjoy a food trend while it's still trendy and I really want to enjoy a trend while it's trendy! I want to be sick and tired of it!
I'm also enjoying fiddling with my website on nights I don't want to go to sleep quite yet. Yeah I like just changing the colors slightly and half-finishing assets instead of making new pages and fixing broken ones!!! I'll get around to doing everything I want to do eventually, maybe!
I don't think I'll write a full review but I recently read A Perfect Day to be Alone by Nanae Aoyama, a short read but one I really appreciated. The protagonist is just so unlikeable and immature, but it all leads up to the moment her brain fully develops and she starts acting like an adult and gets her life together. It's a really nice glimpse back into the awkward, bumbling years of very early adulthood where you're really not sure what you're doing, but you don't want anyone else to notice or say anything about it (but they do because it's really obvious). It's also a nice reminder that no one is going to get your shit together for you. I recommend it!
Actually I would like to make a general media page (yes very groundbreaking yes I know) for my one-sentence opinions. But I also sometimes think, are my opinions on things ever actually so brief? If they are then it must be because my time was so wasted I wasn't even given the opportunity to properly dislike it. I hope I don't have enough of these experiences to warrant a Media That Wasted My Time page, but it's currently on my list of Things I Want to Do, Eventually, Maybe.
Lastly, on the topic of website things, I'm very excited about the sidebar clock. It's been a slight obsession for quite a while now to come up with a way to also indicate the time of day. I had lots of designs in mind but I kept overlooking the most basic and straightforward. As usual, simple is best! The sun and moon will rise and set according to your local hour. Isn't that fun?! I'm glad if nothing else I found time to make one dream come true :)